i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
