Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
