70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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