The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
