one two three fourrrrnication!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
