Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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