This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
