About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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