just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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