thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
