I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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