we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have post one night stand depression
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