Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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