I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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