Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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