yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize