its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
