Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where is the hickey?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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