Who wears a wallet chain?!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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