I just saw a hot homeless man
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
