Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
