OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
