We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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