omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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