I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
