forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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