Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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