watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
