dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you made out with another girl for some wings
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize