Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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