i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize