everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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