Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't put those talents on a resume
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
