You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
