No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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