It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we're making bets on your personal life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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