I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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