My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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