So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
