Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
