Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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