never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
