If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
