I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
