They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
