did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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