Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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