I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm always down for nudity.
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