I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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