Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
