I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
