I have demons in me.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
