so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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