so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
