I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am naked and annoyed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
