Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
