He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
