just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
