Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married