can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close