This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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