Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?