1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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