worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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